None of These Things Move Me

new blog

2008-06-27T18:57:00.000-07:00

Since I never use this blog anymore, I will direct all my incredibly dedicated readers (just kidding, I know no one ever reads this) to my current blog: a turkish delight

Looking ahead

2008-02-23T06:24:00.001-08:00

So I haven't blogged in ... forever. My apologies. I get busy. You know, with school, with church, with my friends, with life!

So I'm going to Turkey this summer...maybe I'll write about my experiences and you can read them, just like you read about Japan last summer. I'll be there for 5 weeks, learning about the culture, studying Turkish language and history. It's going to be a great, enriching, educational, culturally expanding time. I'm so excited. 81 days until I leave. :)

<---So I'll be going there...maybe I'll take my picture in front of it and post it up here. Maybe. :)

So I'm looking ahead to Turkey. Also looking ahead to graduation. Not just for the graduating side of things...but the triplets are coming up for it and my sister and my nephew, and my grandpa and his wife. So it's gonna be like a weeklong party with everyone here! I'm so excited, I just can't wait!

Japan Update 5

2007-08-03T00:07:00.000-07:00

Six days left in the land of the rising sun...can't believe the summer has gone by so fast! The past couple of weeks have been spent doing "mountain evangelism" as Pastor Heath says...we've been canvassing Japanese neighborhoods, putting tracts in every mailbox, getting the Word out. Though the heat has been intense and the mountain roads and driveways sometimes steep, the Lord has been good. So far no fruit, but we are doing our job in planiting the seed. I know God will water and give the increase in His timing. I'm praying for five Japanese families. Join with me! The need is so great. I stand on the mountain top and almost feel like I'm on top of the world. But then I look down and in the distance see the sea...there are sailors out there that need to hear. I look a little closer and see the shoreline, the harbor, the city begins it's busy hustle, not realizing the One they search for is found in the stillness. There's not much land between the sea and the mountain top. But there's a whole lot of souls. The houses spring up in terraces to conserve space. A yard of any size is considered a luxury. Most houses almost touch their neighbors. The architecture of the landscape is amazingly beautiful. But it also reflects the generations-old dedication to a false religion giving out false hope. Prayers flutter in the breeze at the gateway to the Temples and rotten food and forgotten coins litter the "god shelves" by the side of the street. Students dressed alike in the same white blouses and blue pleated skirts crowd the narrow streets. Little children play by the side of the road, their old, bent, worn-out "obasans" keeping diligent watch from under a sun umbrella. A sailor and his family pass by, oblivious to the same need. One of salvation. One of love. One of hope. Japan may be a 1st world country. She may be a leader in technology and car production. She may be the neediest country in the world. Oh that my heart would not turn away from the distant outcry of the lost. Souls in danger must hear the glad tidings of great joy, which shall be to ALL people. Oh that my heart would be so broken.

Japan Update 4

2007-07-13T00:34:00.000-07:00

We've been back in Sasebo since Saturday. The mainland was in the middle of the crux of rainy season when we returned. It poured the first two days we were back, and showers (heavy showers, I might add) after that. Today, thankfully there was no rain, and only a little this evening. There is a typhoon headed our way, though, so be praying!
Tract distribution went well on Tuesday. The rain held off until the afternoon, so our morning was not disturbed. Madelyn and Luke were my constant companions, though Luke was more interested in stepping on the baby frog than putting tracts in mailboxes. We were in an older neighborhood where the houses just sort of "sprung up" wherever they wanted. There is no rhyme or reason to the placement of houses or roads. It was a little confusing, but we got the job done.
Church tonight was a blessing. Kimberly (one of the kids in the church) and I played a violin-flute duet for the offertory. Kimberly's family is leaving on Saturday, so it was fun to do it together before they leave. Pastor preached out of Ps. 18 on "Who is YOUR God?" Our time of prayer afterward was sweet.

Japan Update 3

2007-07-04T01:42:00.000-07:00

I am now into my second day of Field Conference in Okinawa. First a rundown of camp:The first week I had nine girls ages 12 through 17. They were a lot of fun. The second week I had five girls ages 9-12. Also a lot of fun. But I was sick most of the week. :( not so fun. Tuesday I had a pretty killer migraine again and I was nauseated the entire day, so I went to bed before the evening service and one of the other girls took my girls. Wednesday was a lot better, but still not a hundred percent. One of my girls, Hannah, kept saying *Miss Ali, I'm praying for you that you will feel better so you can be hyper with us!* :) She's cute. So I was feeling much better on Thursday and had a good time with them. They left Friday morning, and after a while of cleaning the camp, the camp staff went to the aquarium. It was pretty neat. We saw this sorry dolphin show, with a song that had bad words in it (although, I did not catch the bad words...one of the other girls that had known the song earlier in life was listening for them and noted that they played the unedited version of the song...) It was fun.Then we came back to camp and watched a movie (National Treasure) to which I fell asleep several times...and then we got up early Saturday to go Snorkling. It was SOOOO fun! At first it was hard to get the hang of it, but once Dan explained how to do it, it wasn't so bad! I found a starfish, and he stung my hand when I picked him up. But he:s dead now, so we're good. Joel found some really great shells and Dan picked up a bunch for whoever wanted them. The other girls found a ton of cowrie shells, but I only got one...I tried to pick up two others but the tide was coming in and it would knock me off balance as I was trying to get it. When we first got to the beach, we found this little black puppy that Alicia named Freckles and Amanda named Diamond all by herself. (The puppy was all by herself, not Amanda naming her.) Anyway, we begged Dan to take her with us but he said no. So she was waiting for us when we got back to the truck about four hours later, and we renamed her Snorkle with the nickname Snorkie and again begged Dan to let us bring her home but he held fast and wouldn:t let us. We gave her the last cheese crackers we had and left her at the beach, calling Dan a puppy killer and other such names. It was very emotional for us. ;) I taught Kierstyn, Ty and Cody SS on Sunday morning...well, Cody is only 9 months old, so I held him and fed him while I taught Ty and Kierstyn. It was so much fun. We sang and then I told the story of the little boy's lunch of 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. I found some flannel graph in the closet, but no little boy and no lunch, so we pretended with an old guy. Then we made lunch boxes and lunches like the little boy out of paper...We went to Maranatha Sunday night for church, so I got to see a bunch of my campers again. That was fun. Afterward we went out for supper on base, and the WC girls were flirtin' with the GIs again! I tell ya what...Monday was the first day of Field conference. Lots of fun. Today (Tuesday) we went to the peace park with the Harris girls...so much fun. Jessica and I were bonding being nerds together. I:ll have to upload a picture later. Well, it is super late and I have to get to bed.

Japan Update 2

2007-06-24T06:06:00.001-07:00

Last Monday four teens from Lighthouse and I flew to Okinawa, Japan, for camp. I counseled nine girls (the entire blue team!) and we had a great time. I was sick the first day and threw up as the plane touched down, but after that I recovered and we had a good week of camp. Jim Ogle was the speaker and the Lord really worked in hearts. It was so neat to see the change in the kids from Monday throughout the week. One guy really seemed to change, Josh. He's about fourteen; he was the biggest camper on my team. By the middle of the week, he was making the other guys let the girls go first and just being a gentleman in general...hmm, I think some of the guys at school could take lessons! Anyway at the end of the week we had a bonfire and some testimonies and he gave a really sweet one. One of my girls also gave a testimony. She was so sweet and a blessing to have in the cabin. The Lord really worked in her heart.I'm loving Okinawa...swimming in the ocean, getting that tan! Once the rain finally stopped, the sun came out and we bonded! :) I'm kind of surprized that I haven't peeled...I think the burn is just going to turn to a tan! Yeah!Today after church (no evening service; we had an afternoon service instead), we went shopping at China Pete's...but I got no china! Some of the other girls got loads, but I just got an Okinawa banner. It's really cool. Then we went to this jade shop and I got a freshwater pearl ring (that fits!), two jade rings and a pair of freshwater pearl earrings...and also some little jade donut things that can be used for making jewelry. All of it was the real deal and I paid twelve dollars! Wow. The other girls all got some necklaces and other stuff too, but I didn't. Then we went to the 100\ store...love that store! Way better than the dollar store! I got a ton of stuff...and I'm slowly beginning to feel the haichu fetish hit. They're pretty good! (Chewy candy...flavored all different kinds).So I brought my flute to Japan and I think I'll return to the States having played it once...My last Sunday in Sasebo the Callahans (missionaries up north) were in town, and the oldest two are really musical, Nathan plays piano, Heather sings, and I played for a song she sang in church, and Nathan and I played the offertory...and haven't broken it out since. I was playing piano for the singing at camp this past week, and I forgot to bring my flute to church this morning...Kierstyn and Ty are playing silly with some strange glasses and fake teeth. They are so funny!

I made it to Japan!

2007-06-11T22:41:00.000-07:00

So I finally made it to Japan! I missed my first flight out...so I stayed in WI an extra day, and my mom drove me to Chicago the next day. The flight to Japan was approximately 12 hours and 3 minutes long. The flight from Tokyo to Fukuoka was about an hour and a half, and I had a 5 hour layover in Tokyo.I spent the first two nights with Pete and Jean Heath, the missionaries I'm working with here. On Sunday, I jumped right in to play piano, as the church's pianist is in the States for the summer. They were glad to here some "live" music! So I played an impromptu offertory during the morning service as well as a prelude and congregational singing, and then I practiced up a song that I've played before for the Sunday evening offertory.Monday I packed a bag and came to Eric and Maran's house. Eric was a single guy in our church when I lived in Japan ten years ago. Since then he got married and had a kid, so I am staying with them for a week. Maran and Nathan are coming to the States in the next month, and Eric will be joining them as soon as he gets his orders.Today several families of the church started distributing Japanese gospel tracts in several neighborhoods. The church is doing a tract blitz all summer, trying to get a tract in each home in the area surrounding the church. The little kids were excited to help pass the tracts out, and I made a new friend, Luke. He is three, and I would open the mail box and he would put the tract in. Japanese mailboxes are not like ones you find in America. Most of the time, the mailbox is built into the outer stone gate that surrounds the house. It's a rectangle about six inches high and a foot wide. Sometimes they will have a flap at the top where the mail goes in, sometimes it is open; and there is a "catching box" on the other side of the fence that will have a cover so the mail won't get wet. On the mailbox is also a doorbell and intercom system to call to the house.After we blitzed two small neighborhoods it was time to eat, so we all went to CoCo Curry and had a good Japanese meal. I was so full after the Chicken Cutlet Curry!

More pictures of my buddy!

2007-06-07T15:17:00.001-07:00

William decorating his face with birthday cake. He wasn't asleep...just had his eyes closed.William opening birthday presents...the lion's mane tickled his face!
We went to the Madison Zoo where we saw this cutout for a baby polar bear, so I held William up to the hole. He was the littlest polar bear, cuz he couldn't even reach standing on the stool behind it.
I think William wanted to ride the buffalo in this area...but maybe he just liked the feel of the rough twine on his fingers.

Delayed

2007-06-07T15:17:00.000-07:00

So the Lord didn't want me to leave on the seventh! I got the MKE airport at about 8:45am Thursday morning, checked in, and waited to board my plane. We boarded and started for the runway, but the tower in Chicago wouldn't let us takeoff yet because of the wind. So we waited for 45 minutes and then found out it would be another hour and a half. So I deboarded the plane and started talking to this family of three that were also traveling to Tokyo, so I was listening in on their questions to the ticket agent. They were headed ultimately to Thailand, so I had to speak with another agent to get my situation figured out. So she got me on a different flight, leaving Chicago Friday just after noon. So I will be getting in at my final destination around 10:00 Saturday (Japan time).

Summer Plans

2007-05-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

The Lord has given me the amazing opportunity to return to Japan for the summer. I'll be working with Pete and Jean Heath in Sasebo, Japan. I also get to go accompany the teens to camp where I'll stay for two weeks to counsel. The next week is FIELD CONFERENCE so I'm staying for that too!
I'm so excited!

Friends!

2006-12-11T17:53:00.000-08:00

I had a great time at my church down in LA during last summer. The people were great, and they threw a party after our last service there...so I got to bond with Allyson and Mason, my buddies!

I LOVE CAMP!!!

2006-12-11T17:44:00.000-08:00

So, since I never put any pictures up, now that the pictures are working, I am going to finally post about camp...
Jon Cover and I got to be pretty tight! He's so awesome! He was actually in my brother's cabin as a camper last year, but I remember him coming to visit Allen once last year too. But then he counseled some weeks and did opstaff some weeks this year... What a fun guy to be my brother!The only thing...he would always pop my space bubble on purpose, and then laugh at me!

Ben Shuler--my hero for a day! He saved my life by killing two BLACK WIDOW SPIDERS that were making their residence in MY windows! The first one was pretty big, and he sprayed it with bleach then decapitated it's head. The second one...he just got rid of I think by way of pliers...

some pictures finally...but they are old ones...

2006-12-11T17:33:00.000-08:00

Sorry, no pictures yet of the "guy magnet" car... :)
So, four exams are done so far, and only four more to go! Whew, glad to get half them over on the first day! I'm ready to be done--especially since I didn't study for any of the others yet!!!
I really miss seeing the triplets...but my nephew is coming to visit on Saturday-yay!!! I can't wait.

my new "chic" car

2006-11-25T18:48:00.000-08:00

Nope, it's not a guy car, Ben! It's a very cool, very red, very difficult to get in and out kind of sports car. My dad's jealous. Actually, so is my brother. Hey, it's quite a step up from my old "Ruby" rust bucket. But hey, it's pretty cool, driving around in a candy apple red Camaro! So it's not really my car, but for the time being, it's driven primarily by Alyssa! My dad bought it, so when I leave the house, it reverts to him, but I'd say it's a little unsensible for deputation anyway, so that's okay. I guess it's okay to drive...the brake is super sensitive though, and I think I freaked my mom out when we driving to school this morning because I tapped the breaks a bit to hard...a couple of times in a row. But the girl I babysit, Kirstie, she thought it was "way totally cool." Matt thought so too, but not in so many words.
Okay, so what's up with my car needing to be stick shift? Every guy I've talked to about, as soon as I tell them what kind of car it is, automatically asks if it's a stick shift and when I tell him no, it's like instant depression or something. Still scratching my head on that one.
I'll see if I can get a picture to upload on here...I've been having some troubles with that...but first I'll have to take a picture of it...
Cheerio!

Matt. 7:7-11

2006-09-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

"Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you...how much more does your Father in Heaven give good gifts to them that ask him?"

God, as my caring Father, loves to give me good things. Perhaps this is comparable to Ps. 84:11 that says, "No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly."
Of course, it doesn't say that He will alays give me what I want, when I want it. I must be asking for the right thing. If my heart is in tune with God's then we will be on the same wavelength in the asking-receiving department.

I'm so glad God knows exactly what is good for me, and that He delights in giving what is good for me to me!

Psalm 18:28-30

2006-09-11T20:06:00.000-07:00

For it is you who light my lamp; the lORD my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God--his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shielf for all those who take refuge in him.

The other day in my devotions, the Lord really blessed my heart with these three verses. I was kind of getting discouraged, and I was looking through the Psalms because I knew it's packed full of stuff about my God and that's always uplifting.
Here's what I learned/was reminded of:
*It is God Who lights my lamp/candle. I need not fear the dark or the dark times of life; He is my Light, showing the way and providing comfort.
*He enlightens my darkness. In those dark times of deep water, I must rest in the Lord; in the midst of that, He is my Light. His presence casts out darkness.
*By Him I can run against a troop. Though the odds may be stacked against me, I can go up against anything in the power of my God! I can do nothing outside Him, but once I resort in HIm, I can run against a troop!
*By Him I can leap over a wall. When an "impossible" circumstance blocks my way, when I am overwhelmed, when I'm bogged down in defeat, I CAN rise above the temporal circumstances and finish the race. Notice it doesn't say He will tear the wall down, or make a way around it. I can conquer nothing in my own strength, but "by the LORD by God I can leap over a wall," no matter how insurmountable it seems. It is through His strength that He enables me to overcome difficulties, trials, and temptations.
*This God--Who enables me and lights my way--His way is perfect. "Perfect"--blameless, good, righteous...Thought I don't understand the darkness, the troop rising against me, or the wall in the middle of my path, I rest in the fact that His way is perfect. There is only good for me--He will be righteous toward me.
*His word proves true--or is tried (refined). When I look around me and discouragement begins to settle in, I must remember the word of the Lord--what has He promised me? what is His character like?
*He is a Shield for all those who take refuge in Him. He is a shield, a "buckler," my strong tower. A shield protects a warrior in battle. In the midst of heartache and hurt, He is my Protector/Protection. This promise is for ALL who place their trust--dependence--on Him. "Who take refuge"--this is active voice--I must take refuge, because He won't force me to run to Him.
He will provide refuge if I choose to partake of it.
Thank You, my holy, sovereign Lord!

It's Through the Blood

2006-08-19T17:36:00.001-07:00

While I was at camp, I was really moved by the music we sang during the services. The spirit of the staff was really focused on the cross and it was really sweet to dwell on. While driving somewhere, probably to church, my friend that was driving had a CD with a song that he really liked on it, so we searched and searched for the right song and we finally found it. Here it is.

When I think of Heaven, and all the sights I'll see:
The walls of jasper, gates of pearl, the clear and golden street.
Why should I be present? Why should I enter in?
After all the sinful living, and the wicked one I've been.

In the presence of Jehovah, as I stand before the throne,
The accuser of the brethren starts to read the things I've done
As I hear the awful charges, the question fills my mind:
Why should I not be put in Hell to suffer for all time?

It's through the blood, that's all I have to cling;
It's through the blood that Jesus shed for me.
Not by works of my own righteousness,
For filthy rags are they.
But because of that old rugged tree,
Hanging on dark Calvary,
That is my only plea;
It's through the blood!

When I'm walking through a valley, and I feel there's no way out.
When the winds of sorrow threaten me, and they turn my world around.
That's when I look to Jesus and the price He paid for me;
I can lift my hands in praise to Him and shout the victory!

It's through the blood, that's all I have to cling;
It's through the blood that Jesus shed for me.
Not by works of my own righteousness,
For filthy rags are they.
But because of that old rugged tree,
Hanging on dark Calvary,
That is my only plea;
It's through the blood!

Oh precious is the flow that makes me white as snow!
No other fount I know! It's through the blood.
It's through the blood.

You can listen to it here: http://www.victoriousvalleyhomes.com/wm/throughtheblood.wma

2006-08-19T17:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I've tried to put pictures up from camp, but it hasn't worked yet. Maybe now it will...
Anyway, camp was great. I had a blast. I was able to see about 5 of my campers saved and one from a different cabin. That was totally awesome! I still keep in touch with some of them. This little girl from my church in LA wrote me a letter today. It was really cute, addressed to "Miss Alyssa" or should she have said "Missa Lyssa!" "Because it rhymes! Get it? Missa Lyssa! It rhymes!" This is all said in a deep Southern accent. Soo cute on a ten year old.
Well, the Lord did a lot of construction on my heart this summer. He saw fit to take my sister through a dark valley mid-summer. She had a stroke one Sunday morning in July and was in the hospital for about a week and a half. That week I actually didn't have campers, but I didn't get to go up to NC and see her. The Lord was working though. I've always kind of felt bad because I never really had to trust Him for anything big. I mean, my school bill is paid off, and you always hear of people who have no idea how they are going to make it, but the Lord works and they come back semester after semester. Well, the valleys in life teach trust, and He works all things together for good. The spirit at camp was so encouraging, and it was not uncommon for fellow staff members to ask me how my sister was doing, or for them to stop what they were doing to pray with me. Amen!
Well, I don't like long blogs, so I'll split it up!

My cute little nephew!

2006-05-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, here's some pictures of the cutest little kid on the planet! His name is William James Fortenberry. He was born on Tuesday, May 9, 2006, weighing in at 8 lbs., 12 oz., measuring 22 inches long. Pretty big baby for such a little mommy! (Those of you who don't know my sister, she is smaller than I am!)
These were all taken during his first week. The last picture was at the hospital; that's Jessica holding him.
This will be my last blog for probably the summer, becuase I'm working at camp. I'll get it back up and running when I get home in August.
Enjoy the pictures!

Starfish!

2006-05-08T16:32:00.000-07:00

I think the title says it all...

This is me holding my "Starfish Kid," AJ Dolittle. AJ and I bonded in the nursery at Faith Baptist Church when I was a student at Northland. He is the cutest little kid. When it was wintertime, his mommy bundled him up in a snowsuit that was almost too small for him (I think it used to be his big brother's suit) to keep him warm. It was blue and red and yellow, and when you zipped it all the way up, he couldn't even roll around on the floor. It had the squishy stuff for padding, and all he could do was simply exist on the floor until someone took pity on the poor child and picked him up. I thought he looked like a starfish, all bundled up, because his hands and feet stuck out (it was a footy-suit) and the hat part kind of had a cone-head look to it. So there's my SF buddy!

cold toes

2006-05-04T11:00:00.000-07:00

yep, it's pretty much summer, but my toes are cold. what in the world! The fingers on my right hand are cold too, but that's because my right hand has been on the mouse for a while, and it always gets cold when I'm on the computer.
Anyway, I just thought I'd stop by my blog and write some thing. Not much to say on this, the second day of Summer Break! I should go pack for camp...I hate packing. My room hates it too. The floor is not visible at the moment because it's covered with various boxes filled with clothes and towes, assorted yea and nay clothes for camp, about three or four pairs of shoes, oh yeah, some books (like five or six) a pile of papers and such, a shoebox full of stuff from last summer, envelopes--the big manila kind, hmm...oh, the tops to the boxes, more clothes, another box that is empty because all the clothes that were in it are now on the floor or in another box, two duffle bags, a plethora of pens, pencils, stationary set, etc...
Yeah I would take a picture so you could see it, but...the camera battery is pretty much dead. DEAD! (Tim, are you laughing??? Like Ann Judson was DEAD! :) lol)
So, now that I have enumerated by bedroom's alarming state of disarray, I think I'll go pack some more, then there will be more boxes and less clutter on the floor. No more Terainas! (That one's for Leah...)

Pray for Brazil

2006-04-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, today's chapel speaker was pretty neat! The ministry he has in Brazil has sent my "heart afire" for world-wide missions...once again.
I'm ready to pack up and leave and not come back! It was so encouraging to hear that he and his wife are not planning on retiring in the US. Today's missionaries have often lost the sense of dedication and commitment this family possesses.
So, I'm really thinking about visiting Brazil and getting involved in that ministry! So pray for me to know if it's God's will or if He has something else for me. I sure don't know...but I wouldn't complain if He wanted me there in Brazil--even as a single missionary! Since that's been my most recent struggle, I was actually kind of surprized when I realized that if God called me to Brazil to work with Dr. Tom and his wife, it really wouldn't bother me so bad to be single. Oh sure, it'd still be nice to get married and have a family someday, but when God calls, nothing else matters, huh? Not when you're in tune with Him. So pray...
1. For Brazil--wide open door of opportunity to spread the gospel!
2. Dr. Tom and his wife Penny--they need fellowlaborers to join them in the harvest
3. Me--to know if I should pursue this or not, and if so that God will provide
4. The rest of the world--it's a needy place, and so ready to receive the gospel, if only people would go. I will do my part, but I am only one person and I can only be in one place at a time...

My Band Nerds

2006-04-20T08:35:00.000-07:00

Well, it's an accepted fact now. The students that went on band tour last spring are officially nerds. Me included. This is not just a "I-lost-my-3-page-paper" nerd. This is a full-blown, comb-over, buck-teeth nerd. Enjoy the pictures!

Here I am, the biggest nerd of them all...proctoring tests!

Joal and Andy, playing cards...looks like they have quite the handful, and not such a good one for either of them!

Chip, studying away for his calculus test...or something!

Here's all the guys on combover night...yep, a whole big group of nerdy boys!

Melissa...so it's not nerdy to read your Bible, but there were other instances that revealed her true nerdship... j/k!

Like, I think it's, like, Jenn? Is she, like, really knitting while she's, like, studying???

The essence of nerdness--Sudoku on Band tour...

The biggest nerd of them all, in his office so small, not only was it his tour "house," but it also stored his gray mouse...

I'm such a nerd!

2006-04-15T12:26:00.000-07:00

So I found my USB flash drive thing. It was pretty much hiding under my bed. I had already looked behind my bed against the wall, but this morning as I was changing my sheets, I pulled my mattress back a little revealing...wellah! my flash drive. The thing is, I rewrote the first three pages of my paper, so now I had two beginnings to my paper. I should have written it backwards, but...I'm afraid Alyssa didn't think of that. So I used a little merging magic, and now my paper's beginning is 5 pages long, plus I'm on a roll to get it done. I have an hour...think I can do it?

Wow

2006-04-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

Just wow. That's all I can say. Grrr. I can say that too. Sometimes I frustrate myself beyond all reason. I am forever losing things. I think the next thing to go will be my mind. Yeah, I pretty much just lost my USB jump drive with all my papers from my entire college career contained on it, including the paper I was going to work on tonight, and the paper outline that I was going to write on Saturday. Pray that I find it. I'm sure it will turn up somewhere, God just needs to get me to trust Him fully again!

2006-04-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

"O Israel, return unto the LORD they God; for thou hast fallen by thine iniquitey. Take with you words, and turn to the LORD: say unto him, Take away all iniquity, and receive us graciously...'I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely; for mine anger is turned away from him, I will be as the dew unto Israel: he shall grow as the lily...They that dwell under his shadow shall return' ... for the ways of the LORD are right, and the just shall walk in them:"
Hosea 14--here we have the last chapter of Hosea with an exhortation to repentance. The chapter highlights what God will do for Israel if she repents. What a blessing God was--and is--to His own. I know, I know, the church is not Israel, can't be compared, etc., etc., etc. But I think there is a correllation here.
God is the One Who can heal backsliding. He does love us freely. When we cast off our iniquity, he will receive us graciously, for "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us." Indeed, His ways are right. All of them. Even when we can't see the way, it is still right. He will not lead His children down a dark path for no reason. This comes back to the idea of suffering. John Piper contends that suffering is not an end of itself. I believe Joshua Harris talks about the same thing regarding sacrifice. Suffering is to bring us closer to God--when we finally realize that we truly cannot walk, it is then He can carry us. Sacrifice is not simply a command to follow because God doesn't want us to enjoy life--sacrificing sin on the altar of obedience leads only to future joy.
I'm so thankful that even though I can't see the way cut before me, my Lord holds the light, and as I stay close to Him, He will show me the way.

The Bryn

2006-04-04T14:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I haven't posted in a while. I'm posting, I'm posting!
This is a band tour post. Just so you know.
I just have to laugh every time I see Brynley Dean. Yup, we bonded on tour! She is affectionately known as:

The Bryn-Bryn!
The Bryn-dawg!
The Bryn-o-meister!
The Bryn-a-roni!
The Brynster!
The Bryn-Bryn-Bryn!
The Bryn-Bryn-Bryn-Bryn!
The... yeah you get the picture.

Theses names are affections, complements of Davis Jaspers. But I have latched on, and now whenever I see her, I must needs call her by one or all of them. She is currently thinking up a nickname for me. So if you begin to hear the Bryn-Bryn! call me weird names, you'll know why. I'm not too sure what one can come up with out of "Alyssa," but I'm sure if she gets Davis's help, there'll be some good ones!
Oh yeah, and whenever I see her, I must needs ask her for an "Ear Report! Ear Report!" since she so delicately got her ears pierced on tour.

Just for Dave

2006-03-30T13:21:00.000-08:00

Since he was so heartbroken over my lack of blogging during spring break, which I might add was BAND TOUR!!! then I decided to blog again. Back to my own little world...
Um, I have a post drafted about tour, I'm just waiting on a picture to put with it, so it may be a while in coming.
Hmm, what to write about??? The only thing coming to mind is the tangle of wires currently attacking my right knee. That's right. I am sitting in our very own Computer lab 205, typing up on my blog when I should be working on my drawing for art class. But alas, I am here, not there, so tough. Anyway, if you have ever had the once in a day-time opportunity of visiting lab 205, you know the wires from all.........................twenty-one computers (I had to count them there,) are merely pushed to the back of the table upon which they sit. I am sitting at computer M-0095, which, if you look, is in the middle island type set of PCs. Facing the AC. With my back to the color printer. So anyway, there are not only the wires from computer M-0095 at my beck and call, but there are also the wires from computer .......... M-0092 (yes, I just got up and looked) at my demand. However, as every seasoned female knows, sitting is simply more comfortable with the legs crossed at the knees. However, sitting in this manner elevates one knee over the other (quite obviously) and to make room for the legs under the table, the chair must be decompressed and lowered. However...... I just did that, and low and behold, it is uncomfortable to type in such a lowered position. So I returned my chair to it's original position, once again cramping my leg style, effectively relegating my right knee to the spagetti of light gray, dark gray, blue, and black wires that lurk bewteen computers M-0095 and 0092.
Thus, the subject for this, probably most random, blog.

Shout out to Mouse

2006-03-26T21:22:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to say that I had a great time on Band Tour! Many many memories were made, and I wanted to dedicate my first band tour blog to Mouse. I am one of the few who held Mouse and did not get execreted on...yes, there were those who Mouse thought were the toilet, sorry guys! But Mouse and I have this understanding. She doesn't pee on me, and everyone is happy. I think it's the portrait I drew of her. She loved it. In case you didn't hear her exclaiming over it. But then her lovely owner lost it! What in the world!?! But anyway, I luckily have a sort of copy in my sketchbook because I wanted to count it for art class! So anyway, it is late and I need to head to bed, but I just want to say good night to Mouse. Matt, I hope you don't give her any cookies, because "If you give a Mouse a cookie..." she might ask for a glass of milk... I love those books! Fun stuff. Anyway, good night Mouse! (Or Galina, Jemima, Priscilla, Maxine!)

P.S. this was my first band tour post, but I couldn't publish it because I wanted to put a picture up...that's me drawing Mouse.

Sanctification

2006-03-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

Well, the Lord has been working in my heart a lot today about the topic of sanctification. I used to say that it'd be nice if there was a tonic for Instant Sanctification. But that if there was, I'd probably use it for selfish gain.
Well, I discovered the secret to sanctification. Not that it was hidden, actually it was right there in front of methe whole time! Dr. J. was preaching today in chapel and he was in John 17, the prayer that Jesus prays for believers. Dr. J. was talking about truth vs. traditionalsim, and as Sanctification is the theme of the Baptist Fundamentalism conference today and tomorrow, he was talking about that too. Anyway, I was reading down in verse 17, and Dr. J. used it to show that Truth is found in the word of God, but the Holy Spirit brought to mind the first part of the verse: "Sanctify them (believers) through thy truth: they word is truth." So, all that to say, IS tonic is the Word of God! As we are filled with the Word and saturated by it's truth, God will sanctify us, because that's what Jesus prayed for. Wow, let that idea stick to your brain for a while!
So, don't give up hope of sanctification progressing in your life--it's right here, practically staring us in the face! Immersion in the Scripture, the Truth, will grow sanctification in us. No, it's not instant, and yes it takes more work than swallowing a spoonful of tonic, but isn't the end result totally worth the sacrifice? And when you think of the end result and the wondrousness that it is, to call the means of attaining it "sacrifice" seems somewhat silly. Sacrifice is only giving up that which is precious to us--is our own flesh so precious to us that to give it up--or to put it death--such a great sacrifice??? Hm, I'll have to think on that for a while.
No, don't think that I have discovered the secret entirely. This is only a small scratch on the surface, but I'm letting it marinade in my head for a while. My heart too!

Suffering and Persecution

2006-03-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

What does suffering for Jesus mean? What does it entail? What is worth suffering, and to what degree? Why must Christians suffer at all?

“Loss and suffering, joyfully accepted for the kingdom of God, show the supremacy of God’s worth more clearly in the world than all worship and prayer.”

To answer the reason for suffering, one must first consider the question “what is a missionary’s primary goal?” This question could also be phrased to include every Christian, whether in full time vocational ministry or not. The driving passion behind any Christian’s life must be the revealing of God’s supreme glory. This zeal will carry him through any time of suffering.

Jesus commands that all Christians “take up [their] cross[es] and follow Him”—this means to “join [Him] on the Calvary road with a resolve to suffer and die with him.” Relegating this “cross-bearing” to mere physical afflictions such as annoying people and sick children removes the “radical thrust” from this command. Jesus’ idea of suffering was not the world’s idea of suffering—annoying people and sick children; rather, Jesus calls for obedience no matter the cost: betrayal, rejection, beating, mockery, crucifixion, or death. The apostle Paul realized and internalized Jesus’ idea of suffering when he said in Acts 20:24 speaking of bonds and afflictions that awaited him in every city, ‘But none of these things move me…’

“Jesus gives us the assurance that if we will follow him to Golgotha during all the Good Fridays of this life, we will also rise with him on the last Easter day of the resurrection.”

True suffering brings to mind martyrdom, both spiritual and physical death. A physical martyr is not killed because of his political standings, or because he has asked for death. He is martyred by the ones to whom he ministers, and this ministry is done out of a pursuit of love. A spiritual martyr is one who has truly been ‘crucified with Christ’ (Gal. 2:20) in order to say “nevertheless I live, yet not I but Christ liveth in me.”

Suffering must be born out of love. If one suffers with a proud attitude that says ‘look at me, I’m suffering for Jesus! I must be a super Christian,’ he is in sin. Pride is always a sin. Christ’s suffering was both a substitution for our sins (so we don’t have to pay the ultimate sacrifice of death in Hell) and a pattern for us.

“The suffering of Christ is a call for a certain mind-set toward suffering, namely, that it is normal and that the path of love and missions will often require it.”

This suffering of Christ is the “basis of our going with him” in suffering. We are commanded to minister ‘outside the camp’ where the unreached nations dwell. We are not protected from bodily harm outside the camp, but Jesus is with us!

Another aspect of personal suffering is the testimony it gives to other believers. When a believer (namely, a missionary; every believer should be a missionary!) suffers for Christ and responds in a Christlike manner, others take notice. Suffering should be accepted in faith and with joy. We are commanded to praise in every situation, even the difficult ones.

Sometimes we are tempted to think suffering (especially in death) is a loss for the kingdom of God. Else, how can the suffering/dead continue in their ministry for the Lord? Scripture gives us the proof of abiding suffering in John 12:24, “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”

“God uses the suffering of his missionaries to awaken others out of their slumbers of indifference and make them bold…What obedience will not achieve, persecution will.”

Just look at the persecuted church through out the ages! Even the first church in the NT had to undergo persecution to obey the Lord’s command to go throughout Judaea, Samaria, and the uttermost part of the world. It is amazing that the more money, affluence, and comfort is afforded to the church of God, the more they relax and ‘enjoy life’ instead of giving what they have to further the kingdom of Christ.

“The suffering of missionaries is meant by God to magnify the power and sufficiency of Christ. Suffering is finally to show the supremacy of God…Christ’s power was Paul’s only power when his sufferings brought him to the end of his resources and cast him wholly on Jesus.”
*all quotes taken from Let the Nations Be Glad by John Piper

“Hold on my child, Joy comes in the morning.
Weeping only lasts for the night.
Hold on my child, Joy comes in the morning.
The darkest hour means God is just in sight.”

And Dave...

2006-03-08T10:10:00.000-08:00

There are some friends who deserve an entire post all to themselves. Dave Marriott is definitely one of them. This incredibly funny guy has been a source of amusement to me about since I came here to Maranatha. Actually, just this year because I didn't really know him to well before that. Anyway, from State Street to SGI, Dave always has a smile ready and a joke to tell. But he knows when it's time to be serious. That's something I appreciate about him. His love for the Lord and passion for right are always challenging to me.
Oh yeah, and he always visits me at work. That's another plus of having Dave as a friend here at MBBC. (Course, John Magnus always visits me too and so does Abigail, but hey, this isn't their post!)

Revival meetings

2006-03-07T21:21:00.000-08:00

Well I had the awesome opportunity to visit Rock Lake Baptist Church tonight for their revival meetings with John Van Geldren. It was so good. The Lord really challenged my heart.
Bro. VG was preaching on Gal. 2:20--"For I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me..." That last phrase was a point of his. He was saying how it's actually, literally Christ living in us. Let that idea grip your heart and stick to your brain! So I was really pondering it, and wow, it's changing my life. If I am truly crucified with Him, I am dead to sin--no longer married to it, and it has no dominion over my soul. I am now married to Christ and yet I still struggle. Why? Because my spirit wars against my flesh. But it is Christ in me living out through my life, so the victory is really already won! Are my responses like Christ's responses would be? Because it is Christ in me. I was just listening to a song on a tape (yes, it's a cassette, not a CD, what can I say? they're old school!) and this song is so relevent, so I'm going to post it.

My hands are the Lord's hands
Without me, how can His work be done?
I will reach where He would reach,
Lovingkindness in my touch.
I'll be His healing hands to everyone.

My feet are the Lord's feet.
Without me, how can He walk with the poor?
I will go where He would go,
Blessing others as I do.
For Him I'll walk where I've never walked before.

Help me, Lord, let me give to my neighbor
What you would give if You were here.
Help me, Lord, let me live so my neighbor
Will know that You are always near.

My mouth is the Lord's mouth,
Without me, how can His voice be heard?
I will say what He would say.
Speaking love and life each day.
And everyone who's near will hear His word.

I don't really like the "Without me" lines, but my hands, feet, and mouth are the Lord's; do they look like it? Do I do, go, and say what would characterize Christ?

Friendly times

2006-03-05T19:23:00.000-08:00

Well I just wanted to post a shoutout to all my friends out there! I've been gone for a while...well just extremely busy, so I have been trying to be a good steward of my time, so I haven't been posting like all week. So I'm getting back into the loop here. So I just wanted to dedicate this post to all my cool friends out there! (Well, okay, to the not cool friends too...j/k!) I am so glad the Lord has allowed me to make so many friends here at good ole Maranatha. He is so good. Some of you know how I had a hard time coming, transfering not of my own desire, but the Lord has richly blessed me in some really great friends. There's no way I could name them all, but here's a few with what they are to me:
Emiley--my sit-in-the-office-pretending-to-work-while-taking-pictures-on-John-Magnus's-phone buddy!! I love you Em, we have so much fun together "hulaing"!
Abigail--my SGI-get-my-focus-straightened-out-memorize-Scripture-accountability partner!! I am so glad I've gotten to know you this semester! I love you!
Trevor--my counselor-when-I-need-to-vent-over-you-know-whom-with-your-same-initials confidant!! Thanks for being there when I need you, Trev!
Zac--my cowboy! what else could I say???
Amy B.--my laugh-with-while-eating-jumbo-marshmallows buddy!! Thanks for always making me laugh, I love you!!
Dana--my short-always-ready-with-a-hug chum! Love you girl!
Matt--my send-random-holiday-ecards-and-two-word-long-emails-to brother!! :D I am not a hypocrite! I always wanted a big bro, thanks for being mine.
Swifty--my lunkhead...[shrug shoulders here] Just kidding! You're not a lunkhead! (you know how to say it)
Melissa--my flute-playing-wiping-snow-off-the-car-roomie-for-band-tour-Isaac-stealer! I am so excited about touring with you! I'll just take Teddy from now on!
Mandy--my Swahili-speaking-and-spelling-Missions-major-deserting buddy!!! But I still love you even if you're not a Missions major anymore :( :( :( Fungeni midomo! j/k, cho ika wapi! just kidding again! ;D
Katie J.--my fellow-society-bud-clean-mud-maker-playing-in-the-snow-whistle teacher!! I love you Katie!! We still need to get together sometime!
Bryan--my cool-house-let's-go-to-Mukwonago-days-visit-my-dead-pregnant-cat's-grave-memory maker! I am not indecisive, and it's just too much fun to reminisce with you!!! And cup cup is not boat in Japanese--it's funa!
and everyone else--I love you guys too, I just have to get up for band tomorrow morning and there's so many of you that I don't have time to write everyone's name individually cuz I need to go to sleep in my nice, warm, conthy [Kellie] bed.
(Side note, Kellie is one of the triplets and that is how she says "comfy.")

Fun Times

2006-02-28T14:57:00.000-08:00

Well I had a blast this weekend. I was super busy, but it was good. Saturday night a few others and I went to the YMCA in Oconomowoc. It was a ton of fun...even if the dance music was giving me a headache. :D Yup, the theme for the night was DJ Dance...but don't worry, we Maranatha kids didn't do any dancing...okay, maybe Swifty did, but other than that. (Just kidding, he didn't really. He was feeling kinda poorly, so he sat the whole time besides keeping score for one game.) So anyway, we had volleyball tournament, and you all really missed out if you didn't go. I met two girls there in middle school that are totally cool, so I was able to make some new friends! I also successfully rang the bell at the top of the rock climbing corner. :D
Then Sunday I went to Schaumberg, IL, for the KIKS demo/rally. It was...an interesting night. Late, but fun. So Monday I was pretty much running on below Empty. I got about a 45-minute nap in after work before Art class, so I was feeling at least 16% better. But I went to be early, and now I'm back to about 89%. Hopefully I will be catching up on sleep before next weekend. It's going to be doozy, too. :D

7 lessons for driving me crazy!

2006-02-23T06:58:00.000-08:00

Well, today was the day. No, I didn't take the driving test in the yellow lego car, but...that would have been more fun! My appointment was for 8:00, no sweat, whoever was the tester would probably be in a relatively good mood because it was still early in the morning, nothing to get them upset yet, right?
Well, no.
I walk in the DMV, and there's a couple of people sitting in the chairs, but I didn't know why. Not like they were in line, or anything, so I asked anyway, and the one lady said no and she pointed to the man standing at the end of the room behind the desk. So I started to walk toward him and that's when the morning digressed. Apparently the red "Do not walk past here" signs really mean what they say, no matter if you're never going to be attended to otherwise. Walking past the signs was my first mistake. My second mistake was noticing my brother's name on the test list (okay, it jumped out at me, I had to notice it. There was a red line next to it, with the three or four names above it crossed out.) Well, actually, noticing it wasn't the problem. Verbalizing that notice was. The man at the back started shooing me out ("oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize!")and I was pretty much tripping over myself to get out of there quick enough. Then he politely informed me (okay, it wasn't really so polite) that those lists were not for public viewing ("I'm sorry!") and that I should not be looking at them (whispered "I'm sorry...") Okay, so my third apology wasn't really a whisper; it was more like a pathetic squeak as I tried to become one with my chair. Then he shuffled the papers around a bit and said "if you're hear to take the driving test you need your permit out and ready." This was not directed to me, but rather to the world at large. Well, Alyssa was there for her driving test so she humbly removed her permit from her wallet and walked to the do not enter sign. But she did not pass it this time. Lesson number one learned.
Actually he asked for Jared, as his name was on the list (we were swapping because my driving test date fell in the middle of band tour. My mom called on Tuesday to make sure it was okay, they said, oh yeah, that's fine, don't worry about. You can just switch when you get there!). However, they lied. It wasn't fine, he was worried about it, and you can't just switch when you get there because "that's not how we do things around here." My mom was my hero at that point because she kindly reminded him that we did call and they did say it would be okay. "well, make sure you call and change it for your son, because that's not how we do it here!" Yes sir, lesson number two learned. Never trust anyone.

Lesson three: Always, I repeat always know where your lights are. Even if they turn on automatically and you will never use the manual button, know where they are anyway. It's a good idea to know where the parking break is too.
On to driving...my first mistake driving was the stop at the parking lot entrance. FYI it is the law to stop before the sidewalk, not over the sidewalk. No it doesn't matter that you can't see any cars coming from behind the sidewalk. You stop there. That was lesson four.

Oh yeah, lesson five: don't drive in the parking lane! I was all thinking about turning into the correct lane on a one way street (thanks Josh!) that I was driving in the wrong lane on a two way street. There was a car coming behind me and he was like "why are we driving in the parking lane?" as if it was obvious that I was in the parking lane. Hello people, the last time I drove more than ten minutes was 20 months ago (only one tne minute drive in the entire 20 months, too) and that was in Charlotte, NC! They don't do parking lanes on most road in that city, how am I supposed to know that it's a parking lane?!? But I was and I didn't, so I got marked down on that.
Parallel parking was...okay. Not perfect, but not horrible either. (Thanks for showing me how yesterday, Mom!). My Y turn (to which I have always referred as a 3 pt.) was good--only three points, but I'm afraid I was a rather uncourteous driver to all the other non-existant drivers on that road because...I didn't signal that I was turning around.
Lesson six: always signal!
Oh yeah, Lesson seven: always Always ALWAYS signal when you pull away from the curb. Yes, even when the only living thing in a mile radius is yourself, you still do it. That's roadside courtesy. (Sorry, folks, turn signal overdose is not a big thing in my lovely southern city either.) I couldn't park on a hill (not mention it wasn't even on a real hill, we pretended) because I didn't remember that my parking break was to go on. I'm sure if it was a real hill I would have remembered. But I didn't.
Hm...what else? Oh yeah, the turn signal thing, pulling away from the curb. That, too.

But as it turned out, inspite of all these previously unlearned lessons, HE PASSED ME!!!
Not to mention my very loving, endearing tester was about the most intimidating man I've ever met and that I almost cried when he was "going over my test" with me and my mom--outside in the freezing cold...why couldn't we have done it comfortably in the warmth? But, I was the first person he passed all morning. Thank You, Lord! I was praying about this so hard, yesterday and today and getting a lot of people praying for me. So if you prayed for me, thanks so much! He really does answer prayer! (Well, I also prayed that my tester would be in a good mood, and he pretty much wasn't, but I can take a no to that prayer. I passed!) So look out, world, cuz' Alyssa is cruisin' by!

Snow Day

2006-02-22T14:46:00.000-08:00

Well, last week I had a great Thursday...yes, it was a snow day so I missed one class. That was fun. My dad, brother, and I went over to the Jaspers' house and built the cute li'l snow bunny. Katie came out for a while and we played in the snow. We made sled tracks down the hill, and if you see two snow angels in the snow next to the stairs in front of old main, the one closer to the stairs would be mine. The other one is Chrisi's. Yeah it was a ton of fun...Except when Katie and I were rolling down the hill and I chunked a ton of snow down my sweatshirt. That was not fun. Because then I was kold. K-O-L-D. But I got over it. I digress... Anyway, so I just wanted to say that I had a great time, and Katie's a great friend! Love ya, babe!

Ponder Samuel

2006-02-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

I was reading I Samuel 11-14 this morning, and there were a few things that really stuck out to me. In chapter 12, verse 21 says, "And turn ye not aside: for then should ye go after vain things, which cannot profit nor deliver, for they are vain." It was a good reenforcement, because I've been really struggling with keeping my focus on the Lord lately. It really is a choice you have to make, because the flesh always wants to think on it's own things. But this verse shows what choice we need to make--refuse to turn aside. The next verse says "For the LORD will not forsake his people for his great name's sake: because it hath pleased the LORD to make you his people." I know it's talking about Israel there, but what a thought! God won't forsake his own, because He has bestowed His great name on them!
The next verses were needful too: "Moreover as for me, God forbid that I should sin against the LORD in ceasing to pray for you: but I will teach you the good and the right way: Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things he hath done for you." I guess I hadn't really thought of "ceasing to pray" as a sin against the LORD before. I mean, I know we should be "praying without ceasing," but it hadn't really stuck to my brain that it was a sin if I did cease.

My other valentines

2006-02-18T17:25:00.000-08:00

I just had to post these pix of my other valentines. They are so cute! Justin's is the car one, Landon's is the Elastagirl one and Kellie's is the CareBear. On Landon's front, it just said "To: Alyssa" with my name in his cute handwriting. He's getting pretty good at that. Then he wrote his name on the back. Kellie's said "To: Alyssa Owens, From: Kellie Bower" all by herself. ;) As if I would get it mixed up with another Alyssa or Kellie. And Justin's said "To: Alyssa Owens, From: Justin" and his came in it's own envelope. He sent one to my brother too! Isn't that sweet? They are so funny. Always in the past they have sent a bunch of valentines to all their little friends, but this year...I was the only girl to get a valentine from the boys, and Kellie didn't send any boys a valentine. (Cuz girls have cooties and boys have germs...but hey, at least cooties aren't real!)

more songs

2006-02-17T22:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, here's some more to ponder. They're so good!

This song is so good! It's full of absolute Bible truth. So true of the dark stain of sin I hold, but so true, too, of my freedom from guilt and sin, all through the blood of my Saviour. There is no other way. It's only because of "His great love wherewith He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us (made alive) together with Christ, (for by grace ye are saved)." (Eph. 2:4-5)

Free from Guilt and Free from Sin

Dark the stain I cannot hide
Stain of sin my guilt to prove
Guilt my own and foolish pride
Pride, the reason for my sin.

Light of God came shining down
Son of God, my soul to win,
Laid aside His Heavenly crown
Paid the price for all my sin.

Wash me in the Savior's blood.
Make me pure without, within;
Cleanse my heart and set me free,
Free from guilt and free from sin.

Love of God that lights my way,
Love displayed on Calvary.
Lamb of God, my soul to save,
Gave His life to set me free.

Gone the darkness from the light,
Gone the night the day begins,
Gone the wrong, my soul made right.
Free from guilt and free from sin.

This next song is very special to me, and kind of sad. Actually it is very sad. It almost makes me cry when I hear it, because I just think about my brother, and I "want him over there." It reminds me to pray for him.

We Want You Over There

We are going home to glory soon
To see the city bright,
To walk the golden streets of Heav'n
and bask in God's own light.

But some of you are out of Christ
And held by many a snare
We cannot leave you lost and lone.
We want you over there.

The pearly gates are open wide
And we shall enter in
To knowthenceforth no tear or sigh,
No sorrow and no sin.

Oh come with us and come at once;
That land is bright and fair
We cannot leave you lost and lone.
We want you over there.

We come to tell the story true
Of love so rich and free.
The crucified and risen Lord
Has grace for you and me

Oh listen to His words of love
His messangers declare
We cannot leave you lost and lone
We want you over there.

We once were burdened sore with sin.
And dark were we and sad.
But Christ has washed us in His blood,
And He has made us glad.

Fly to His wounds, ye guilty ones,
His love and mercy share.
We cannot leave you lost and lone.
We want you over there.

We are going home to glory soon.
We want you over there.

Some songs to ponder

2006-02-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

The first thing I wanted to say is in regards to the song we sang in chapel this morning "Until Then." The second time through the chorus, I started really thinking about the words, and they say, "But until then, my heart will go on singing. Until then, with joy I'll carry on..." What a difference in what seems like would be our attitude and what should. It seems like we should be waiting, almost impatiently, for God to call us home. Like we should "endure" this world, but 'don't enjoy life too much because the best is yet to come.' Like "this world is not my home, I'm just a-passin' through." And isn't all that true? Shouldn't we be anxiously awaiting the day we finally get to go home. Aren't we supposed to resist the pleasures of this world? So why does the songwriter say "my heart will go on singing" and "with joy I'll carry on"? It made me stop and think about it. I shouldn't just be "enduring" my stay on this world--I should be singing joyfully in the midst of my journey. This isn't totally a developed thought quite yet, and I'm not quite sure exactly what is jumbling around in my brain either. Hmm. Just ponder the thought anyways.
Next, I wanted to share a song that I first heard at Northland. The lyrics are from an old hymn, but one of the students at Northland revamped the music a couple of years ago. Sorry, but I couldn't get the new music to go with the words...visit a Northland student body chapel, and you'll likely hear it. My roommate Leah sang this song at her extension church when I was up north and she gave me a copy of the words...but I couldn't find them so I mooched 'em off the internet.

Complete in Thee! no work of mine
May take, dear Lord, the place of Thine;
Thy blood hath pardon bought for me,
And I am now complete in Thee.

Refrain:
Yea, justified! O blessed thought!
And sanctified! Salvation wrought!
Thy blood hath pardon bought for me,
And glorified, I too, shall be!

Complete in Thee! no more shall sin,
Thy grace hath conquered, reign within;
Thy voice shall bid the tempter flee,
And I shall stand complete in Thee.

Complete in Thee— each want supplied,
And no good thing to me denied;
Since Thou my portion, Lord, wilt be,
I ask no more, complete in Thee.

Dear Saviour! when before Thy bar
All tribes and tongues assembled are,
Among Thy chosen will I be,
At Thy right hand, complete in Thee.

Rosa for Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T17:44:00.000-08:00

Well, single awareness day has come to a close, but it wasn't all bad. I did get Rosa from my parents! Isn't she cute? She's super soft and kinda shiny.

M&M Mania

2006-02-13T14:04:00.000-08:00

Well, M&M's have just become more Alyssa-friendly. They have finally invented dark chocolate m&ms. I am so totally stoked. I love dark chocolate. Milk chocolate and I don't get along too well. But I am rather fond of dark chocolate. And I'm totally "on the dark side" regarding the new m&m issue. The actual colors of the

dark chocolate M&M's are: dark red, purple, black, dark blue, and gray. Dark side M&M's are most definitely tasting better than the ole regular ones. "Darth mix" is totally my flavor for the day. I've been snacking on this new brain food all day...must stop...must stop...must save some for my tests tomorrow...must stop munching.

Empty

2006-02-09T15:15:00.000-08:00

This morning in my devotions, I was studying Rom. 15:13 which says, "Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost."
Wow, what a conviction! This though comes from the idea of "filling." If you have a cup and you want to fill it with milk, even the tiniest bit of OJ in the bottom will ruin it. The cup won't be filled with milk...it will have some OJ in it. True, too, that in order for the Holy Spirit to fill me, I must be totally emptied of myself. I guess the verse is more talking about being filled with joy and peace--so if I am focused on myself, I will not have joy or peace because my flesh is such a discouraging thing to dwell on! I guess my thought pattern here was as Dr. J. said in chapel today...Men are like waffles; women are like spagetti. It connects. The same principle applies to allowing God to fill me with joy and peace as being filled with the Holy Spirit. The Lord really gripped my heart on this though process. Pretty sure, that was the only verse I got to this morning...but as I meditate (or marinade as I've heard it put) on this idea, it's changing my life. I want to be totally filled with the Holy Spirit, but in order for that to happen, I must be emptied of my self-love, my pride, my own ideas and counsel.
This whole self love issue has been revealed in my heart recently too. The Lord has graciously shown me how little I love others--yes, there are specific people that He has brought to mind--and how much I lust after my own self. He continually shows me areas in which I am lacking. Odd to think of it--as we grow closer to the Lord, the more things He shows us that need changing. It's like a grand paradox. But He doesn't show us these things to discourage us or put us down, but so we can make them right--so we can reflect more accurately the love of our wonderful Saviour. Truly He has heard me "in the multitude of [His] mercy." (Ps. 69:13)
It is as the song says "In my weakness He is strong. In my need He leads me on. When I come to the end of all I am and I place my trust in Him, that's when His strength begins...In my weakness, He is strong." (Based on II Cor. 12:10)

Some interesting thoughts

2006-02-07T19:42:00.000-08:00

I found this article from some else's blog (Chelsie...it was a link to the article on her blog.)
Anyway, it's pretty articulate in explaining some deep relational issues. Check it out at http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001200.cfm
The article makes a good point about the brothers in the family of Christ being on guard to keep from defrauding their sisters. We girls hear a lot about defrauding our brothers, but it's a two way street here. The point of us girls guarding our own hearts responsibly is also tastefully given.

Declaration of the Cross

2006-02-06T10:52:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine from camp wrote this, being stirred to write something of the Lord Jesus. I thought it quite profound, and he gave me permission to post it here with the prayer that it will be a help to you in fueling the passion for our blessed Saviour.

Declaration of the Cross by Leon Wong

At the cross, where the Savior died, I was there.

Behold! The meek and innocent Lamb of God, who taketh away the sins of the world! I saw Him who commanded the Legions of Heaven, humiliated by the vilest of His creation. Falsely accused and forsaken by family, followers, choicest friends and the Cherished Father.

He walked the path of the Cross.

Scourged by injustice, the nine feline demons clawed the backbone of Creation. With each stripe, they took hold of the Creator and ripped His glory, bit by bit. Smeared the Water of Life over the cesspool of unholy hatred. With devilish glee they hailed the King of Kings, clothed His batter’d frame in royal garments. They ripped that robe off his healing wounds- the dried blood flowed once more.

Stones hurling, mockery spitting, the hordes cheering, the drumbeat of Lucifer deafening! I heard the heart of my Savior singing, “It is for you beloved ones, I die. Gladly on the altar of justice, I lie.” Strengthened by unearthly love for the unlovable, He carried the Petabulum of the Cross.
Stumbled and crawled in the dust to Golgotha times without number, they hastened Him with a horse’s whip.

The bleat of innocence! When the nails fastened Him to His executor. Unashamed, He hung on the pinnacle of Satan, for all His creation to see- The Epitome of the Father’s Love. As the victorious soldier danced o’er the ill-gotten gains, my Savior gazed on the faces of the multitudes there. Familiar, yet unfamiliar. Had He not fed them with bread? Had He not restored their infirmities? Had He not taught them on the Mount?

Nonetheless, no one stood by Him. He never knew them.
And while He thought on those things, his mouth parched dry, as the Fountain of Life gushed out, the Bread of Heaven broken to tens of thousand crumbs.

Yet this excruciating pain was not simmered, but dwarfed, by the forsaking of His Abba, Who stripped Him hollow of Himself and His very character- the Holiness and Righteousness that girded His very existence. All at once, the nails at His hands and feet numbed, the weight of His body forgotten by the Weight of Sin. His breathing unconscious, the smirk of a thousand demons blurred, the scorn of self-exalted mankind oblivious, the crown of sin that pierced His Holy Crown- insignificant, when the Windows of Heaven shut- God separated from God. It is finished.

At the cross where my Savior died, I was there.

No Burden is heavier than His Cross,
No Sacrifice, no greater Loss,
No Injustice, too lowly for me to bear,
No Pain, no Grief, too great a Care,
No Regrets,
No Retreats,
No Return.

For I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live;
Yet not I, but Christ liveth in me:
And the life which I now live in the flesh,
I live by the faith of the Son of God,
Who loved me,
And gave Himself for me.

At the cross where My Savior died, I am there.

Egg beaters, cannibalism, and Fido's fur

2006-02-02T20:32:00.000-08:00

When you were a kid, did your mom ever give you the egg beater to lick when she was baking? That's a random childhood memory that was revived tonight. My mom was making a cake for some guests we're eating tomorrow night (yes, it's true, the company is indeed on the menu!), and she gave me a beater and my brother one. So there we were, sitting in the living room, listening to Steve Pettit sing "Puttin' On the Dog," licking our egg beaters.

Ok, so maybe the first part of this post is a little weak, but I'll try to make it a little better. So this company we're having over (two young men from the college who will remain nameless to protect the innocent--that would be me...don't ask me why the only company we ever have is of the male persuasion...) So anyway, these guys, we'll call them Jim and Jim...(ah, Southland memories of Peter's cabin...) So my mom has this pad of paper that's magneticized to the refridgerator that she writes the menu on every week. So this week, it reads:
Sunday: Turkey soup
Monday: pork chops
Tuesday: eat at Maranatha
Wednesday: grilled cheese sandwiches
Thursday: breakfast for supper
Friday: Jim and Jim here

Okay, done with that funny story, and since this is a random post, I'll let you in on the song mentioned in the primary paragraph. "Puttin' on the Dog" is a song on Steve Pettit's Clean Pickin' CD. So this whole CD is laugh out loud funny. This particular song especially. It starts out with Uncle Steve telling the story of how Aunt Terri wants a fur coat like everyone else...and how she gets it in a rather round-about way. So the song goes on to say that Uncle Steve was too poor to buy the afore-mentioned fur coat and too afraid to steal one, but the problem solved itself in the form of an unfortunate Golden Retriever. This chance meeting of Uncle Steve and Fido convened on Highway 62, and now that Fido's in Dog Heaven, Uncle Steve gets the hide. He slaved for six weeks in the basement, going by trial and error, but he finally got it right, so he packs up the new fur coat in a cardboard box and takes it upstairs to Aunt Terri. She, of course, is tickled "near to death" to see it. That nice fur coat that hangs around her knees...only thing is, she's been complaining that her closet's full of fleas! She don't know it's Fido that's wrapped around her tight, She's puttin' on the dog when she goes out at night. Poor Aunt Terri is sad though, because Uncle Steve backed into the cat...but he's pretty sure that she'll feel better when he gives her a new fur hat!

Here's the rest of your fur coat!

Afraid? Of What?

2006-02-01T22:17:00.000-08:00

This poem was written by E. H. Hamilton upon hearing of Missionary Jack Vinsen's martyrdom.

Afraid? Of what?
To feel the spirit's glad release?
To pass from pain to perfect peace,
The strife and strain of life to cease?
Afraid? Of that?

Afraid? Of what?
Afraid to see the Saviour's face,
To hear His welcome, and to trace,
The glory gleam from wounds of grace,
Afraid? Of that?

Afraid? Of what?
A flash - a crash - a pierced heart;
Brief darkness - Light - O Heaven's art!
A wound of His a counterpart!
Afraid? Of that?

Afraid? Of what?
To enter into Heaven's rest,
And yet to serve the Master blessed?
From service good to service best?
Afraid? Of that?

Afraid? Of what?
To do by death what life could not -
Baptize with blood a stony plot,
Till souls shall blossom from the spot?
Afraid? Of that?

Does this not stir your heart? The fire of urgency of missions has definitely been rekindled in my heart tonight. I was also reading Let the Nations be Glad by John Piper, and he says:
“The picture of nations without the gospel is that they are blind and in the darkness and in bondage to Satan and without forgiveness of sins and unacceptable to God because they are unsanctified.”
Just think on that a few minutes. Take some time and meditate. Is your heart stirred, too, for the desperate need of those nations? They CANNOT see the "light of the glorious gospel of Christ"! (II Cor. 4:4) Oh, that my heart would flame with a love for them and the Saviour that I would not be afraid...

Looking for one good man

2006-01-29T11:03:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am. But not just any man will do. Pastor preached this morning about prayer, and he expounded on I Tim. 2:8...how the men were exhorted first to continue in stedfast prayer. Pastor noted that though the women were addressed in the next verse, it is significant that the men were addressed first. So I wrote down the reference and idea of prayer on my "List." Yep, I've got one...it's about 14 items long now. I'm not sure if it's just wishful thinking on my part, or if there really are real men out there that are "Spirit-controlled, growing Christians...with vision...brokenly relying on Christ...humble and teachable...bringing restoration and peace to others...full of faith and the Holy Ghost."
Well, those are just a few. I used to have a longer list. But then I saw the selfishness contained in it, so I whittled it down to the things that really matter. Things of the Lord. So all of them have references in Scripture...those are the non-negotionables...you know, being "tall, dark, and handsome" would be nice perhaps, but I'd rather have a real man of God. Sometimes I wonder, am I setting my sights too high? Does this kind of man really exist? But for now at least, I'm holding out. There were Stephens, Pauls, Timothys, Barnabases, Davids, and Jonathans in the past...why not expect that there should be some today?
So girls, don't settle for mediocrity, which is something that is unfortunately rather common these days, even on the Christian college campus. Maybe if we didn't settle for lukewarm Christianity in our guys, they would press on to higher things. You know, the whole "supply and demand" idea from Economics.
And guys, don't settle to be less than all you can be--shoot for excellence. We girls need you to set the standard higher. It's discouraging sometimes to look around and think "is this all there is?" God is looking for real men. And so is the female side of campus!
Ezekiel 22:30--And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none.
How sad that God couldn't find even one man who would stand for righteousness, even one man who would build the defense against Satan's forces, even one who would save the whole land! Let this not be said of us!

Ornamental Chains

2006-01-27T21:51:00.000-08:00

I was again reading a book for one of my Missions classes, and wow...
listen to this letter from Nepali Christians imprisoned for their faith:

Dear brother and sister. We know you are worrying about us. So at the first chance we are sending you this letter. Do not worrying for our sake. We are well. God's glory is with us. This small cell is God's temple. These chains are God's ornaments. We have been
given the greatest privilege on earth--the chance to suffer for our Lord Jesus. Thank you, brother and sister, for coming to our village and telling us about him.

I almost cried when I read that! The missionary couple after reading this letter said, "We went out to disciple them, but it is they who have discipled us." How true that so many times, we in our American mindset are shocked at opposition to the gospel! Oh, that we would be stedfast in our dedication to our gracious Saviour Who gave His all for us. Oh, that nothing would move us from the task set before us! May our great God so ingrain His calling on our hearts that we cannot resist! May He accomplish His eternal purpose in us!

Holiness

2006-01-25T15:04:00.000-08:00

I'm reading this book Missions in a New Millenium for one of my classes, and here is a quote that is quite profound.

The great God of the universe...inhabits human beings themselves, members of the church. With such great truth comes grave responsibility, for this bodily temple is the residence of deity, and everything about this temple must be holy.

Wow...the Lord has really been convicting me in the last month or so about holiness--it was really hammered in at SGI, and through some books I was reading (Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges especially). I John 2:1 says in effect that he wrote what he did that we "sin not." Not that we might sin less. That we sin not. At all. Not even a little bit. Not for even "a few whiles." I mean, come on, that perfect and sinless Deity is residing in us...can we not give up a few earthly pleasures for His glory?
This is definitely a thought-in-progress.

My Triplets

2006-01-23T16:27:00.000-08:00

No, they are not really mine. But we're close, so I call them mine. Justin is the oldest, then Landon, then Kellie. This picture was taken on their seventh birthday. Cutest kids on the planet!

Landon Kellie Justin

This is Justin, with Spot, his "Build a bear" dog. Isn't he a cutie?

Class today

2006-01-20T14:05:00.000-08:00

Well, Bible Doctrines 1 was a good class today! Dr. Meyer is such an awesome teacher. We were discussing the passage II Tim. 3:16, and he was explaining what "doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction" meant. He illustrated reproof/correction as pulling your arm (well, it was his son's collar bone specifically) out of socket. When the doctors put a brace and started pulling the bone back in, it was hurting and hurting and hurting, but when it finally popped into place, the pain level went way down. It still hurt a little, but not so much. I though, how true of us when we are away from the Lord (broken), and the Holy Spirit through the Word of God gently begins to pulls us back into place (the brace). It hurts and hurts because sometimes we resist, but when we "pop" back into fellowship with Him, and it doesn't hurt so bad. Yes, there may be consequences, but once that fellowship is restored, you can begin to heal.
I just thought it was profound. Yes, I'm an extremely deep thinker. Some of the time.

It All Comes Down to Love

2006-01-18T20:22:00.000-08:00

I was reading in my devotions yesterday starting in Rom. 8:28. Well, that was as far as I got... I was all about claiming that promise that "all things work together for good" but then I came to the limitations on it--"to them that love God..." So I was thinking, well, how do I know if I really love Him? We all like to say we love Him, but what does that look like in my life? So I remembered something in 1 John saying "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world, for if any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him." So then I started thinking, what are the things of the world? Well, like the rest of the chapter says, "the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life." That was convicting. Wow, sometimes I'm so "good" that the pride of life rears its ugly head. So I was still thinking on what else loving God looks like, so I was looking later on in the book, and chapter 4 brings out some interesting points...like loving others, for "every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." Hmm. That was convicting too. Just today I thought of another person I need to work on loving, and yesterday I already thought of three! Wow, I have so much to learn. Plus that verse later on that says "there is no fear in love, for perfect love casteth out fear...he that feareth is not made perfect in love." Sometimes...kidding, a lot of times!...I'm apprehensive about really openning up or sharing my heart with someone because I'm fearful of what they will think...so I don't really love them completely. It's like a constant fear of mine in the whole dorting [Dr. Olilla from Northland...yes, that school up north!] thing...but that means I'm not truly, completely, perfectly loving that person. And sometimes people intimidate me, just by how they look--where's the love in that?
So anyway, the Lord has really been hounding that into me recently. Then in class, Mrs. Brown was giving a little "openner" and guess what it was on??? Yep, loving God. She mentioned the verse "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength." So that was kind of neat.

Nothin' Movin'

2006-01-17T21:48:00.000-08:00

So what doesn't move me? Well, as the apostle Paul said, "And now, behold, I go bound in the spirit unto Jerusalem, not knowing the things that shall befall me there: Save that the Holy Ghost witnesseth in every city, saying that bonds and afflictions abide me. But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God." (Acts 20:24) Later on, Paul confronts the people that were mourning the thought of his arrest, saying, "What mean ye to weep and to break mine heart? for I am ready not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus." (Acts 21:13)
Yes, this world is so tempting, and the desires of it strong, but none of these things should move me. It is my heart's prayer that I, too, would be ready not to be bound only, but also to die...for the name of the Lord Jesus!